The Taming of Bridezilla

From the moment your fiancée could even spell the word wedding, she’s been most likely been dreaming about her big day in multi-coloured detail. She knows exactly what she wants right from the colour of the nipple pink, taffeta bridesmaids’ dresses to the glittering gold bowties and cummerbunds which will cut off your circulation and oxygen to your brain.

She probably even has an elephant sized scrapbook overflowing with ideas that are indexed and colour co-ordinated. Hours have been spent prancing around in front of the mirror with a towel draped over her head and practising stiltedly stepping down the aisle to Kenny G. To avoid upsetting your perfect princess there are a few things that will help you tame the Bridezilla within.

• Never, and I mean never ever use the words “I don’t care” or “Whatever you want” or “Just tell me when and where” in reference to the wedding. I know you don’t give a rats whether the napkins are eggshell white or snow white (seriously, who knows the difference?) but your bride to be does. She already knows what she wants. You know she already knows what she wants. The point is she wants you to feel included in the plans, so offer your opinion and when she picks Crème De Menthe, after you requested Big Bird Yellow, don’t do a big he-man hissy fit, simply say “Good choice my gorgeous snookums”
 

• Offer to do more than organising strippers for your bachelor party and picking up the tuxes. The more you can do to help out, the less likely your bride is going to pitch a screaming devil fit in public.

• Be as cool as a cucumber. Even if the church burns down, the caterers quit and Aunt Bertha throws the seating arrangements into disarray because she won’t sit near her smelly sister Shirley, it’s likely you will get blamed for it. Don’t take it personally. This is simply stress talking. Keep a hip flask of Vodka handy for yourself and a bottle of rescue remedy for your bride

• Set a budget before hand so there are no “Honey, the white ring-bearing circus ponies are going to cost $9000 each” surprises.

• Plan to have your bachelor party at least a two weeks before the wedding. At least if your mates shave off your eyebrows or paint your manly parts blue, it allows time for damage control.

• Accept that sometimes females just need to vent. Just because your fiancée hammers you with a list of two million things that have gone wrong, it doesn’t mean she expects you to rush out and fix them. Simply listen and tell her you're proud of all the effort she's putting in.

• Practice your new mantra “What can I do?” Next time your bride to be is going off like a pork chop in the sun, simply state “What can I do?, then take a swig from your hip flask or ply her with rescue remedy.

• Keep your mother on a leash. The last thing your darling needs to cope with is your interfering mother-in-law offering her two cents worth.

• Compliment her on the tiniest of details. Often the bride feels like she’s the only one who cares.

• Take time out. Go out to your favourite restaurant or to the beach and forget about the impending nuptials for a couple of hours

• Remind her you don’t care if the day is not perfect, the important thing is at the end of the day, you will be husband and wife and you love her. And if all else fails, find somewhere to hide and keep your hip flask full and handy.

- by Leigh-Anne Wadley